superdigital

I guess this will be one of the final entries for 2008. I know it became a lot better than last year. Let's just hope 2009 will be even better.

Christmas has passed. I normaly suffer from anxiety attacks during this time of the year. I was so looking forward to spending christmas with someone particular in mind. However, things didn't work out that way. You can't always get what you want. I know that. I am blessed with some amazing friends. C took care of me during x-mas. I can never thank her enough for letting me spend it with her family. I know I had options even. Amazing friends. Not just here in Kalmar.

I am truly blessed. And I would gladly give up my own life for any of them. It may sound stupid, silly or even just ridiculous. It is however the truth. I love you guys.

One final thought goes out to my mom. You know I miss you mom. I'll visit you tomorrow. I'll try to push myself there. I will have to do it. I promised someone to do it.

I miss you so much. I love you mom.

The end of 2008 has been, well... Not as good as it could have been. Things just don't work out, and you can't really do something about it. You miss stuff. That makes perfect sense.

Tonight I lost someone dear to me. Someone close to me. I correct myself, I found out I lost someone dear to me tonight. I'm thinking of cutting my vacation short and returning to Sthlm sooner than planned. It all comes down to the funeral.

This is for you...

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Mate, I'm gonna miss you a lot. I know we haven't seen so much of each other these past few months. Doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you. It's the other way around. I wish things didn't turn out the way they did. I wish I could have done something. I can't believe you're really gone. I am gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss not having you around.

Tonight I found out you shot yourself full of heroin. A fucking uncool way of dying. I hate drugs. More than ever. I will never judge you for what you did. I'm angry you left me. I just wish this was a bad dream. I wish I could have done something. I wish I could have been there to at least try to stop you. I know I'll always remember you. Not for this. For all the good times we had. I'll make you a promise right here; I'll never forget about you. I also promise to smile at least once for you every now and then. The drugs didn't work. They just made you worse. I can't believe I just tried to sum up your life in a few words. You meant a lot to many people. There are several of us who will miss you a lot. I know I'm not alone. I hope you found peace. I hope you can read this. I hope you know I will never forget you.

C ya around mate. R.I.P.

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