Brain scraper death dive...

I don't know where to begin. My mind went blank. My brain stopped working, and I said stuff I actually didn't mean. Which is something I don't recommend. This cost me way too much. I don't even have a clue why I did what I did. I just did it. And it hurt like hell. I think I might have had one of the worst nights of my life.

I do care. I do give a fuck. But that's just words. Just like the ones I said yesterday. Which makes me sad. I shouldn't have. I wish I hadn't. But I did, and nothing can change that. This sux. So, what words do apply and which doesn't? How are you supposed to know? No one can, I suppose. And you can't take them back either.

I am empty. I guess it's too late to apologize anyway. What is done is done, and now I will have to live through this. It's cause and effect, all over again.

*87 days without snus
*97 days as a vegan

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